Evan's Legacy - Wally
by Vol lady
Summary: Jenny Miles has died, two years after Victoria killed her son Evan. Problems erupt again between her husband Wally and the Barkleys, and there are in-family complications too. Remembering Robert Walker Jr., lost last week.
1. Chapter 1

Evan's Legacy - Wally

Chapter 1

When Jenny Miles abruptly died on a cool late September day in 1878, it was not really a shock. She had never been a strong woman, and since the death of her son Evan two years earlier, when Victoria was forced to shoot him because he was strangling Audra, she had retreated bit by bit into her home. She slipped away from anyone who might have helped her. Worse yet, Wally Miles, her husband, had been nursing his anger and bitterness toward Victoria and all the Barkleys. Now that he'd lost Jenny too, each one of the Barkleys privately worried that things would blow up. They had no idea what Wally might do.

It was so worrisome that at first the Barkleys considered not going to Jenny's funeral but Victoria decided the old ties were too close to ignore. Thirty-four years earlier, Victoria had gone into an early labor with her first baby, Jarrod, while her husband was away. It was Wally Miles who showed up to help her, got her to his ranch, and he and Jenny helped Victoria deliver the boy who now stood before her as a man, an attorney at law. Victoria shivered at the thought that Jarrod may never have been born at all but for Wally and Jenny. "We have to go to the funeral," Victoria decided. "We can stay in the background, but we have to go."

Jarrod smiled a little, while his brothers and sister stood nearby, accepting the verdict. Jarrod had reason to wonder if he, at least, should stay home. He was the one who had dug up all the information on Evan, all the reports of his criminal activities that threw his sickness right into his parents' faces that night when Victoria killed the boy. Jarrod saved his mother and sister that night, but he tore the Mileses apart to do it. "Maybe I should stay home," he suggested.

There was more now to consider about Jarrod, much more. The man who stood before Victoria now was still a grieving widower, a man still dealing with his own flaws and his own criminal behavior that took him over when his wife was murdered. Jarrod had always been an upstanding man, smart and strong, but not over the last few months. And not now. Still trying to get himself back together, he had stumbled into trying to get alcohol to help him do it. Right now, he wasn't drunk, but he had been drinking. The one scotch before dinner had more often turned into two and even three, and he always had the smell of beer on him when he came home from town at the end of the day, something that had never been so regular before. Victoria could tell by the bleariness in those beautiful blue eyes now that he was still relying on alcohol too much.

The funeral was still a day away. Victoria said, "Let's leave that decision for tomorrow, but I would like to talk to you more about it, Jarrod."

Nick, Heath and Audra got the picture. They had each talked to their mother and to each other when Jarrod's drinking had become an obvious problem. There were other things going on that his family did not know about and Jarrod was not inclined to discuss with them. Even Jarrod knew that right now, it was the alcohol that was most troubling. Even he knew he had to back off. Doing it was proving to be too hard, though. Even though as a rule he could get through the day without disappearing into a liquor fog, he wasn't able to get through the night, particularly after post-dinner brandy.

Right now, it was after the post-dinner brandy, and everyone knew Jarrod had had too much. They were in the library, winding down from the day, but as soon as Victoria said she wanted to talk to Jarrod more about whether he should attend Jenny's funeral, Nick, Heath and Audra got themselves together to leave the room and head for bed. "It'll be an early morning again," Nick said and led the way to the door after giving his mother a peck on the cheek. "Good night, Mother."

Heath gave Victoria a kiss, too, saying, "Good night, Mother."

Then Nick and Heath escorted Audra out, closing the door behind them, and Victoria was left facing her eldest.

Jarrod looked at her. He was still sober enough to think she was thinking about him and Wally Miles and what might happen at the funeral if he went to it, but he was impaired enough not to understand that she knew he was drinking too hard and wanted to talk about that. He said, "I just don't know how Wally is going to take to me being there."

"That is a problem, I grant you, but we have more problems to discuss," Victoria said flatly. "I've let you try to deal with everything that happened last spring in your own way. I know the devastation you feel about losing Beth. I felt it when I lost your father. I can't, however, understand what you're going through because of your behavior afterward. I just know you're not dealing with it very well."

Jarrod took a deep breath. "Mother – "

"I've watched you drink yourself to bed every night for a while now," Victoria interrupted him. "It's not Beth's loss that's driving you to do that. It's the memory of what you did afterward. It's the memory of that beast that took you over and perhaps the fear that it will take you over again, especially if anything breaks out between you and Wally. But not just Wally and the funeral. The fear that it could come out of you again at any time, a fear so great that you are trying to drink it into oblivion."

"I'm not drunk, Mother."

"No, but you're getting there, and you will keep on drinking after you go to your room, just as you have been. We're not blind around here, Jarrod. We know what's been going on."

Jarrod felt an eruption like an earthquake building up inside him. He was still sober enough to know she was right, but also foggy brained enough to believe she was making a mountain out of a mole hill. He tried to organize his thinking, but the fog was making it difficult. "Right now, let's concentrate on tomorrow's funeral. I'm not afraid I'm going to lose my temper if Wally does. I'll be all right. I'm more concerned about what he'll do to you and Audra."

"He won't do anything to me and Audra," Victoria said. "I've already asked Nick to stay close to us. He'll leave us alone. I just believe it's very important we be there and we keep ourselves ready to support him if he needs us, but ready to leave him alone if that's what he prefers."

Jarrod nodded. "I can do that."

"And then, we need to get to work on your drinking problem, because you definitely do have a problem, Jarrod, and you know it. Even half drunk now, you know it."

Jarrod looked into her eyes. He could see how clear and determined they were, and deep inside himself, he knew she was right. He was sorry it took Jenny Miles's death and the renewed strain over Evan's death to bring his drinking problem into focus. But – "Tonight I can't fix anything," he said. "Tomorrow – all right, tomorrow, I'll try harder."

"Do you drink during the day?"

"Not much. Maybe one scotch or a beer."

"Do you plan to come home with us after the funeral?"

Jarrod shook his head. "I need to go into the office."

"Start then, please. Don't have anything to drink before you get home."

Jarrod wasn't sure about that. A social drink during the day wasn't his problem. It was the dark of night that was his problem. Even half blotted, he knew that. But he said, "All right. I'll have nothing during the day and I'll work on the evening when I get home."

"WE'LL work on the evening when you get home," Victoria corrected him. "I'm not the only one around here who knows you're in trouble."

Jarrod gave in with a nod. He had a ton of doubt in his soul, but not about his mother caring, or about her determination. It was himself he doubted. He even doubted he'd react as benignly as he claimed he would if Wally Miles caused problems at the funeral. He tried not to let the doubt show, though. He tried not to let it roll over him.

He tried to get his challenges in order. First, go to the funeral in the morning and get through it without any confrontations with Wally Miles. If Wally insisted on trouble, resist it. Resist losing that temper that had proven to be so troublesome six months ago. Second, go to work in the office and work, don't drink, not even a social sip. Nothing. Third, go home, control the liquor intake at home. Don't get drunk.

The last was going to be the hard part. Jarrod thought for a moment, and thought of a "second and a half" step that maybe he ought to consider before going home after work tomorrow. A step his family had absolutely no idea existed – he hoped, anyway. A step that often soothed his soul when he needed it.

All right, he had a plan in mind. Now, as he climbed the stair to go to bed, he realized that the hard part would be remembering the plan when he woke up in the morning, because it had come out of a foggy, half drunk brain. He prepared for bed, had one last small glass of scotch, and fell asleep with his head spinning. He'd worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tomorrow came, Jarrod only slightly hung over. He and his family members were alert to any trouble with Wally when they went to the funeral. In the church, they sat at the back. At the gravesite, they stayed off to the side, Nick watching over Victoria and Audra and Heath with Jarrod. Neither part of the service was a problem, until everyone began to leave the gravesite. Wally was accompanied only by his foreman – there wasn't anyone else for him right now – and as he left, he passed right by the Barkleys. He saw them for the first time. He stopped directly in front of Jarrod and Heath, as Nick took position a bit behind them with his mother and sister on either side of him.

Wally looked them all over and did not move, even after virtually everyone else was gone, even when his foreman tried to get him to go. When Wally stared hard at Victoria and Audra, Jarrod straightened up, and Wally's eyes settled on Jarrod then. Victoria was about to say something, but Jarrod spoke first. "Wally, I know you may have trouble believing this right now, but we are all very, very sorry about Jenny."

"Sure," Wally said sarcastically. "You aren't even gonna admit this is all your fault."

"Wally – "

"Don't 'Wally' me, lawyer. You helped destroy Jenny. Your mother and sister started it, but you pounded it into her that our son was some kind of monster and she never got over that, never. I hold you responsible for that and I curse the day I ever helped bring you into this world."

Victoria stepped forward even though Nick kept hold of her arm and tried to keep her back. "Wally, this isn't the time or place for rehashing the past – "

Wally Miles glared at her. "Then when is, Victoria?" He pointed at Jarrod. "It wasn't enough you killed my son. This – monster you birthed had to rub Jenny's face in Evan's boyhood flaws – "

Jarrod was beginning to have to fight his anger down. "They weren't boyhood flaws, Wally. They were crimes."

Wally glared at him again. "And you've never committed a crime, is that right, Jarrod? The whole town knows who you are now – no better than Evan was, no better than the lowest – "

Jarrod started forward, but Heath held him back, and Wally's foreman got him out of there fast. Heath kept hold of Jarrod and Nick put himself in front of his mother and sister as Wally was taken away.

Heath could feel Jarrod trembling with rage as he held onto him. "Let it go, Jarrod. He just lost his wife."

Jarrod glared at his youngest brother. "And I don't know how that feels?"

Victoria quickly put her hand on Jarrod's arm. "What's past is done. We need to go on. Jarrod, do you still plan to go to your office?"

"Yes," Jarrod said, settling down now that Wally was gone and he thought about the office. "I have work to do."

"We'll see you at home," Nick said, but the look in his eyes was cautioning, telling his older brother he was being watched.

Jarrod took off on his own, walking away in a slightly different direction than Wally had gone. Everyone in his family kept an eye on him until he disappeared into town.

Nick said, "Maybe we better hang around a while to make sure he doesn't get into trouble."

Victoria said, "Leave him be. I don't think Wally will be staying in town and Jarrod won't be going after him. We'll deal with things when Jarrod gets home."

XXXXXXXX

But Jarrod did not go to the office. Instead, he went to a small room in his building the led off the alley, unlocked the door and went inside. He closed the door behind him, locked it, and looked into the room. There was a small lamp lit, and a dresser, a night table – and a bed. Olivia was in the bed. She smiled.

Jarrod had contacted her yesterday and asked her to meet him here. She had a key. They had been meeting here for a month now, each one looking for something but not a typical love affair – comfort, affection, but not involvement and not uninvolvement either. Jarrod slipped out of his suit jacket, took off his boots, and lay down beside Olivia. She had already removed all of her clothing.

Without a word, he held her, kissed her, lay her back down on the bed and pressed close to her. "Was it bad?" she finally asked.

Jarrod said, "Not as bad as it could have been."

"Do you want to stay here for a while?"

"For a long while," Jarrod said.

Olivia reached for his trousers and began to undo them. He kissed her and kissed her all over and despite the feeling that he ought to be ashamed of this part of his life, too, he wasn't. He needed this. He needed Olivia. He needed her as much or more than he needed the alcohol. He needed her, body and soul. He needed her so much that he hadn't told anyone about her, anyone at all, so she wouldn't be taken away like Beth was.

She wasn't Beth, but she was sweet and beautiful and attentive. He understood her and she understood him, what he needed and didn't need, and her needs were just like his. They complemented each other, now, at this point in their lives, on this day that could have been so much harder than it turned out to be.

Except that it wasn't over yet.

XXXXXXXX

Before he went to the office, Jarrod went by Harry's saloon. It was midday now and he was hungry. Without even thinking about it, he ordered a beer and grabbed a sandwich from the plate on the bar.

He figured he must have looked a bit forlorn, because Harry hovered over him. Jarrod gave a glance around the room – there were only two other patrons, off at a table. Maybe Harry just didn't have anything else to do right now. Harry took the speculation away when he said, "I hear there were some words at Jenny Miles's funeral."

"Gossip spreads fast," Jarrod said.

"It's not every day you get a blow-up at a funeral."

"It wasn't really a blow-up," Jarrod said. "Wally was just overcome for a moment. It's hard – " He nearly said it was hard losing your wife, but the words stuck in his throat. He sipped some beer.

And then he realized what he was doing. He had ordered the beer out of pure habit, forgetting he had promised his mother he'd leave the liquor alone during the day. He kept his hand around the glass and stared at it. The beer was half gone.

"Tell me something, Harry," Jarrod said, staring at the glass. "Do you think I've been drinking too much lately?"

"You've been drinking more than you used to," Harry said. "I haven't had to cut you off, though."

_Maybe only because I do my best drinking at home_, Jarrod thought. "Tell me something else. What kind of man do you think I am?"

Harry chuckled. "What?"

Jarrod took a deep breath. "I kinda get lost in this glass sometimes."

"You've had a rough year, Jarrod," Harry said. "A lot of men get lost in a glass over a lot less than you've dealt with lately."

Jarrod started to think back over the past year – and stopped. He didn't want to remember most of it, and he realized that's why he was drinking, to forget it. He suddenly chuckled and put money on the bar. "I saw a sign in a bar back east once. It said, 'If you're drinking to forget, please pay in advance.'"

Harry laughed a little and took the money.

Jarrod finished his sandwich and took one last swig of beer to wash it down before pushing the half empty glass toward Harry.

"You're not going to finish the beer?"

"No, I promised my mother I'd ease up on the drinking, and you know how my mother gets if you don't keep your promises."

Harry laughed again. "She's something, your mother."

Jarrod smiled. "I wouldn't trade her, Harry."

Jarrod headed on out then, walking to his office across the street and down a block. He had real property transactions to tend to today – paperwork. Paperwork was hardly his favorite pastime, but today it was probably a good idea. Solitary, safe, generally no interruptions and his secretary would have plenty to do without being overwhelmed.

Except that his secretary immediately jumped up the moment he came in the door. "Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you!"

"You should have looked over at Harry's," Jarrod said. "Who's we, and what's the problem?"

"Me, Jarrod," Heath's voice came out of his inner office and Heath was right behind it. "We need you at home, right now."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jarrod didn't like the seriousness in Heath's eyes. "What is it? What's going on?"

"Wally Miles came to the house, and frightened Mother and Audra," Heath said. "Nick and I were out, but Silas came for us, and Nick started to go off half-cocked."

Alarmed, Jarrod started for the door. "What did he do?"

"Nothing," Heath said as they left together and headed down the stairs. "Mother convinced him he needed to stay there with her and Audra while I came to get you."

"I should go get a restraining order against Wally right now," Jarrod said as they hit the street.

"No," Heath said. "Mother wants you to come home first. She wants to talk about what to do. I got your horse out of the livery – it's over there with mine."

Jarrod looked and saw his horse hitched next to Heath's. He hadn't even noticed when he went into his building. They hurried to them, and as they mounted up, Jarrod said, "Tell me everything. Did Wally threaten them? Did he have anyone with him?"

Heath talked loudly as they rode. "He was alone and fit to be tied, but he didn't touch them. Just kept yelling at them. Silas heard it from the kitchen, and between the three of them they got Wally out of there, but they're scared and holding Nick back is getting hard. I think he'll stay with Mother and Audra until we get home, but after that it might be a chore keeping him from going over to the Miles place."

Jarrod pulled his horse to a stop. "I need to get that restraining order."

Heath stopped with him. "Mother wanted to talk first."

Jarrod looked toward the courthouse, then toward the road home, then decided that whatever Victoria wanted, he'd do, at least for now. He kicked his horse and they started for home again.

When they got to the house, Nick was pacing the living room, but Victoria and Audra were calming down, sitting on the settee. They jumped up when Jarrod and Heath came in and came straight for them.

"Are you all right?" Jarrod asked immediately as Victoria came to his arms.

"Yes, yes," Victoria said quickly. "He didn't hurt us or even try."

"This time," Nick growled and headed for the door.

"Nick!" Victoria yelled.

Heath grabbed Nick's arm as he was going by, and Nick glared hard at him. Heath glared right back.

"We need to talk, Nick," Jarrod said. "Going after Wally isn't going to fix anything."

"What do you want to do? Get a court order?" Nick snarled derisively.

"Yes!" Jarrod said.

Victoria was close enough that she smelled beer on Jarrod's breath, and she pulled away just a hair, just enough that everyone noticed, even Jarrod. She and Jarrod looked at each other, and he convinced her with the calm in his eyes that he was not drunk, but he could see that she was unhappy nonetheless. He felt like dirt – she was frightened by Wally Miles and now he, Jarrod, turns up with alcohol on his breath when he promised not to have any.

His apologies were going to have to wait. "Yes, a restraining order," Jarrod said. "Wally will obey it. It'll give us a chance to deal with this more calmly."

Nick came back toward his older brother. "We've been trying to deal with Wally calmly for two years. Don't you remember when Evan shot Heath? Don't you remember how Wally tore into Mother and Audra when Mother had to shoot Evan and she was devastated?"

"_I_ remember," Victoria burst in, now glaring hard at her middle son, "and I remember talking you out of more killing then, and I'll argue all day and all night if I have to to talk you out of it now! There's been enough violence and revenge in this house lately!"

She regretted it the moment she said it. Jarrod flinched visibly.

But it was said now. Victoria gentled her gaze and leveled it at her oldest now. "I didn't mean to hit that nerve, Jarrod. I'm sorry."

Jarrod shook his head and took what she said very seriously. "No, you did, and it's not a bad idea to hit it. Nick, I've shot my life full of holes with what I did last spring. This family doesn't need you doing it, too. We need to stick together and just get Wally to stay away from Mother and Audra. Let me go get the law to handle it."

But Victoria said, "No, I don't want to do that either, not yet," Victoria said. "I want you to go over to Wally's with me and for the two of us to talk to him first."

Now Jarrod looked dubious. "Mother, I don't think that's a good idea. You and I are the ones he hates the most."

"But Jarrod, I've known Wally for 35 years. I can't just throw those years away."

"You're not throwing them away. He is. Mother, Nick is right about one thing. Reasoning with Wally isn't going to work, at least not right now. He's raw from the pain of losing Jenny, and if you and I go over there, there's no telling what he might do. We wouldn't be doing any of us any favors, and we wouldn't resolve anything. Let me go back to town and get that restraining order. I can still make it before the court closes."

"A _temporary_ restraining order," Victoria emphasized. "I don't want a permanent wedge between our families."

Jarrod nodded. "Ten days. That ought to give Wally time to cool down a bit."

"And if it doesn't?" Nick said.

"We extend it or we try something else," Jarrod said.

Nick still made a disapproving face. It was Audra who spoke up, touching her mother's arm. "Jarrod's right, Mother. Trying to talk to Wally right now isn't going to help. You saw how angry he was."

"I don't care what you do," Nick said, giving in but only slightly. "I'm gonna make sure this family is protected."

Jarrod looked over at him. "Nick, if the restraining order doesn't help, we'll try something else. WE will try something else."

"But not violence," Victoria said, pointing a finger at each son in turn. "I will not tolerate violence, and you all better know it."

Jarrod nodded. "I'm going back into town. Nick and Heath can hold the fort down here, but I don't think you'll be seeing any more of Wally today."

Victoria nodded, but she said, "Come straight home after you take care of the restraining order." And what she meant – Jarrod saw clearly – was _don't stop for another drink at the saloon_.

Jarrod nodded. "I'll go clean up a bit and get going."

As he hustled upstairs, everyone knew "cleaning up" meant getting rid of the beer smell. When he came back down, he was "cleaned up" and wearing a fresh suit, and he headed straight for the front door, saying, "I'll be back."

Heath caught up to him and walked him out to his horse, saying, "Nick is gonna want to do something if you don't come back pretty soon."

"I know," Jarrod said. "That's why I want you to stay here and help Mother and Audra keep him calm. When those two women are threatened, Nick has always gotten his temper up. He never did seem to realize there's more than one way to protect them."

As Jarrod mounted up, Heath said, "I'm not gonna sit on my hands forever either, Jarrod. Maybe I'm not as quick on the trigger as Nick is and I see the value of a restraining order better than he can, but I'm not going for living with Wally Miles leering over our shoulders for long either."

Jarrod said, "Nor am I, but if there's one thing I've learned over the past few months, it's that taking to the gun is the last solution you want to reach for, not the first. Look out for things here. I'll be back by six."

Heath said, "We'll be in town looking for you if you're not."

Jarrod nodded his assent and rode away. Heath went back into the house. He found his family still standing in the living room, Victoria talking to Nick, saying, "I am not going to tread on Jenny's memory today the way Wally has. We are going to take this calmly and let the law handle it first."

Audra said, "I think Jarrod is right. I think Wally will obey a restraining order."

Heath joined them, saying, "Jarrod says he'll be back by six. I told him we'd be in town after him if he isn't."

Nick nodded to that, and seemed to relax a little. "All right. I'll go along with this, but if Wally disobeys that restraining order – "

"Then the law will handle him," Victoria said.

"Disobeying a court order might get him thrown in jail to think about things for a while, Nick," Heath said.

Nick let it be then, but at about five thirty, when Jarrod hadn't returned yet and Nick and Heath were alone together in the library, shooting pool, Nick was beginning to get edgy again. Bit by bit, his shots were off and he was losing concentration on the game.

"He's still got half an hour, Nick," Heath said.

"Sometimes Jarrod lets his faith in the law rest for too long," Nick said.

"And sometimes he goes off on a rampage worse than yours, remember?" Heath said.

Nick remembered. "But he's changed, Heath. Sometimes it seems like he's doubled down on the law now."

"Maybe he has," Heath said and took his shot, "but he's still sorting out those lessons he learned."

"He's been drinking again already today," Nick said. "He had beer on his breath."

"I noticed but it wasn't much," Heath said. "He's still sorting that out, too."

"I don't like the idea that his drinking has affected his judgment," Nick said.

"I don't think it has, not about this," Heath said. "Give him a chance, Nick. He's not any less concerned about Mother and Audra than you are."

Nick kept to himself the thought that maybe Jarrod never was as concerned about keeping the family safe as he was. Nick was used to keeping charge of the ranch, the home, while Jarrod was away so often in San Francisco or God knows where taking care of business, the family's and his own. Nick was also a man whose first thought was that his way was the right way. He had to think a lot about alternatives when someone else presented them – especially Jarrod, who was all about alternatives, every time.

Being the second son had always been like walking around with a stone in your boot. Nick had always felt a little awkward, less so when Jarrod was away, but when he was here there was always a little feeling of being out of kilter and of having to argue for his points a lot harder. And yes, Nick always had felt that it was his job to protect the family, since he was always here and Jarrod wasn't. It was just that Jarrod seemed to grab that job back when he was around, and Nick frankly thought that he did a better job of it than Jarrod did.

"Nick, it's your shot," Heath said.

Nick realized he'd been thinking so hard he forgot the game. He took his shot, and he missed.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Nick looked at the clock in the corner of the library and saw it was five minutes before six. He'd had his fill of shooting pool and controlling his urge to go have it out with Wally Miles. Jarrod wasn't here yet, and to Nick that meant he was having trouble getting that restraining order. That meant their problem with Wally was still there. Nick was getting more and more irritated as the clock ticked away.

Heath put his pool cue up. "He's still got five minutes before we ought to saddle up."

Jarrod came in the door, hearing Heath's sentence, saying, "Don't go coming after me. I'm here."

"Did you get it?" Heath asked.

Jarrod nodded. "It took a while, but the sheriff is serving it now. Ten days."

"Wally better damned well cool down over that ten days," Nick said.

Jarrod glared at him. "You'd better calm down, too. Mother's not going for you taking after Wally. If he disobeys the restraining order, he'll be jailed, and if it expires and he's still hot, we'll go for a permanent injunction."

"Mother's not gonna go for that either," Heath said.

"And neither will I," Nick said. "You said WE would try something else, remember?"

Jarrod nodded. "I remember, but Judge Farnham gave me the restraining order on the condition that if it didn't work, I'd go for the permanent injunction before we'd resort to a shooting war. I struck the bargain I could strike, Nick, and I won't cross the judge."

"Then you and I might have a problem," Nick said, and he got into his older brother's face.

Used to these common arguments, Jarrod did not back down, but he said, "Why don't we cross that bridge if we come to it? You and I butting heads already isn't going to help Mother feel any better."

They stood glaring into each other's eyes. Heath let them glare for a bit, but then he finally said, "Why don't we just go wind down and have dinner? You two can fight it out anytime over the next ten days. It doesn't have to be tonight."

Nick glared at Heath now. "It'll be when it'll be, Heath. You don't have to play peacemaker every time."

"Maybe not," Heath said, "but right now it seems like a good idea."

Jarrod let his stiffness go. "It is," he said. "Come on. Let's put this away for now and try to ease our mother's mind."

Jarrod headed out the door. Nick put his cue up and followed along, Heath bringing up the rear as Nick kept on. "I'm all for easing Mother's mind, but I'm more interested in keeping her alive and well, and Audra – and you too, Big Brother, for that matter."

"I can take care of myself, Nick," Jarrod said. "And I'm all for taking care of the health of our mother and sister, too. Let's just use these ten days to let things cool down."

Victoria was in the foyer with Audra and heard them coming, heard their words. She had talked to Jarrod when he first came in and knew he had the restraining order. "Things did cool down after Evan died," she reminded everyone. She took Nick's arm. "Let's just see what happens now. Come, Nick, pour me some sherry."

"You want some scotch, Jarrod?" Heath asked as he headed for the refreshment table.

"No," Jarrod said, surprising everyone. "I'll just have wine with dinner. But you can pour me a mineral water."

"Comin' up," Heath said with a smile.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sheriff Madden knew that Wally Miles would not take the restraining order well when he served it on him. Wally took it, read the first part of it, and immediately ripped it up. "This is hogwash!"

"It's a court order, Wally," Sheriff Madden said. "Ripping it up doesn't change a thing. You can't go anywhere near the Barkley ranch for the next ten days, and if you see them anywhere you have to stay fifty feet away. That means if you're in the mercantile and they come in – "

"I have to leave?"

"You have to leave, if they don't. I suggest you don't come into town to do more than visit Jenny's and Evan's graves. Whatever you do, don't start drinking, and don't carry a gun."

"Jarrod's the one behind this, isn't he? This was the lawyer's idea."

"Probably to keep Nick from coming after you," Sheriff Madden said. "Threaten the women in that family, Wally, and you know the men are gonna come after you. You're lucky Jarrod got the restraining order instead of siding with Nick."

"I didn't threaten anybody! I just went over there to tell them what I thought of them! I didn't know the women were gonna be alone, and I didn't threaten them."

"Good. Just keep not threatening them."

Wally Miles huffed.

"Look, Wally," Sheriff Madden said. "You're hurting right now. You're not thinking straight. You'll calm down over the next ten days. You'll remember who Jenny was – a sweet, sensible, gentle woman who brought out the best in you. You'll want to honor her memory more than you'll want to hurt the Barkleys. Trust me on this. I lost my wife. I know how this works."

Wally huffed again. He'd lost all his family now – Evan to Victoria Barkley's gun, Jenny to the memory of that awful night. He wasn't so sure he was going to calm down over ten years, much less ten days. But he said, "All right, Sheriff. You can go on. I'll obey the restraining order."

XXXXXXXX

Jarrod nursed one glass of wine at dinner and a small brandy before bed, and that was it. When he went to bed, he tossed and turned and ruminated and remembered, and he was sorely tempted to have a scotch to get himself to sleep, but he avoided it. He just told himself he'd fall asleep whenever he fell asleep, and after a while, he did.

When he got up the next morning, he was a bit surprised at how much better he felt for having cut back on the liquor. But he was a realist. He said to himself, _It can't be this easy_, and he was right. He went in to the office in town and struggled to concentrate. He sweated and stayed out of the saloon, but really wanted to go in and have a beer. Just one beer wouldn't hurt – but yes, it would, especially if Victoria found out he had broken his promise a second day, and she would. He just kept sweating and ended up going home early, actually drenched as if he'd hit a rainstorm.

"I think I'll have a bath and change into fresh clothes," he told his mother and sister and headed up to the wc.

When he came back down, he went straight to the refreshment table and poured a scotch, even though it was before time for Nick and Heath to get in and for the family to get together. Not a big one, because his mother and sister were watching, but not a small one either. And he wanted that scotch. He wanted it so bad he decided to savor it, not knock it back in one swallow. He sipped. He closed his eyes. He didn't leave the refreshment table.

Both Victoria and Audra watched from the settee, and he finally noticed. "Don't worry," he said, showing them the glass still had scotch in it.

"Do you plan to have another before dinner?" Victoria asked.

"I'll try to make this one last," Jarrod said. Then he eyed his mother. "I didn't have a thing in town."

Victoria smiled. "Be careful not to make up for it here."

Jarrod eyed his sister. She knew exactly what was going on, and he was a bit embarrassed that she knew. He walked over to his "thinking chair" and sat down, holding the glass, not drinking for now. "I trust you had no trouble with Wally Miles today."

"No, nothing, but we didn't go into town," Victoria said.

"Nick came by at lunchtime to check on us," Audra said.

"I'm not surprised," Jarrod said. "He doesn't trust Wally to obey the restraining order."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I do, or I wouldn't have gone for it," Jarrod said. "Wally doesn't want to break the law."

"Deep in his heart, I don't think he wants to hate us, either," Victoria said.

"I hope you're right," Jarrod said. And he thought_, But I know how Wally hurts right now. I know too well._ And he looked into his scotch and took another sip.

XXXXXXX

The ten days of the restraining order went by without Wally creating any problems at all. He did not come to the Barkley ranch, and if he was in town at the same time any of the Barkleys was, their paths did not cross. Days 11, 12 and 13 went by without a problem, too. It started to look like Wally had calmed down as Victoria hoped he would.

But things did not go so swimmingly for Jarrod. His resolve to drink less went pretty well for a few days, but gradually, he began to slip. The one scotch before dinner, the glass of wine with dinner and the small brandy after dinner were soon joined by a half-beer in town at lunch when he was there, then a few days later the beer became an entire glass. Even though he was able to keep the drinking under control while the family was looking, he was falling back into that drink after retiring to his room to get to sleep, too. Even worse, one drink to sleep rapidly became two, and he was as much a prisoner to his drinking as he had been before.

His siblings left him alone about it, but two weeks into his program to ease off the drinking, his mother was giving him the evil eye at the breakfast table. It was Olivia, though, who called him to task as they lay together later that afternoon. She rubbed his chest and thought about what to say, and ended up saying the truth. "You were doing well on cutting back on your drinking, but you seem to be slipping again lately."

Jarrod started to protest. So far today he had only had one beer and he was still clear headed. But he didn't want to lie to Olivia. "I had stopped drinking during the day, but lately I've had a beer at lunch."

"How about after you get home?" Olivia asked. "Are you slipping there, too?"

Jarrod sighed. "Yes, I admit. I can't sleep without a drink when I go to bed."

"And your family doesn't know."

"Well, I haven't told them, but I'll bet they know. Oh, Olivia – I don't know if I can talk about this."

She kissed his cheek. "Because it's about Beth."

"It's about Beth. It's about me after Beth. It's because I'm a lot weaker than I would like to admit." He looked at Olivia beside him. Something that they had together was the ability to talk honestly, no judgments, just help when needed. He was sober enough to know he needed help now.

Olivia smiled. "If you were weak, you wouldn't be being honest with me now."

He thought about that. "Maybe," he said, "but I still seem to be too weak to handle my drinking. I have to do it, but I don't seem to know how."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Olivia rolled onto her back and they lay there together, holding hands, staring at the ceiling. "I used to drink too much, too," Olivia said.

Jarrod turned his head to look at her, surprised. "You?"

"Uh-huh," she said. "I was lonely and lost and like so many other people, I started drinking. It got away from me."

"You don't drink much at all now," Jarrod said.

"Hardly anything," Olivia said. "I stopped slowly, one drink less a day every week or so. It wasn't long before I didn't notice not having it, and I didn't miss it."

"I can't seem to get to sleep at night without a drink," Jarrod said.

"Well, cut down at some other time first. Do you still like your scotch before dinner?"

"Yes, I admit it," Jarrod said. "I tried cutting back during the day and the nightcap when I went to bed, but it didn't take."

"Try more slowly. Make the dinnertime scotch smaller, then eliminate it after a week or so – or do that with whatever you drink during the day. And quit thinking you have to eliminate everything. If you cut back and find out a scotch before dinner and a brandy afterword suits you fine and you don't need more, you'll have won the battle."

"Some people do need to eliminate everything," Jarrod said.

"But if you're one of them, you won't do it overnight. Take it slow. You're a patient man. You can do this."

Jarrod rolled over, smiling and kissed her. "You're a patient woman to put up with me."

Olivia returned the kiss and the smile. "You're worth it."

XXXXXXX

It was that day, day 14 since the restraining order, that Jarrod got home and found the place in turmoil. Nick was pacing the foyer, Heath was sitting on the stairs watching him. Jarrod came in and was confronted with one of the most angry glares Nick had ever thrown him.

"It didn't work," Nick almost spat at him.

Jarrod could easily tell what Nick was talking about. "What happened?"

"Audra came in after taking a ride, all draped over her saddle," Heath said. "We got her upstairs and the doctor is here. We tried to find you, but we couldn't."

"I was tied up," was all Jarrod said about that. His family did not know about Olivia or where to find him when he was seeing her. Nobody knew. He wanted it that way. "How was she hurt? How bad is it?"

"We don't know how bad it is yet," Nick said, "but it looks like she took a tumble somewhere and smashed her midsection."

"What makes you think Wally Miles is behind it?" Jarrod asked. "Maybe she was just thrown."

"She didn't get to say much, but she said Wally's name," Heath said.

"I'm going over there, Jarrod, and you're not gonna stop me," Nick said.

Jarrod put his hands up in a "stop" sign. "Nick, just let it alone until we find out how she is and exactly what happened. If Wally is behind it, I'll go get a permanent injunction and send the sheriff out after him."

"Look, Jarrod, the law didn't work this time," Nick glared into his older brother's face. "Wally Miles didn't cool down."

"But he did obey the restraining order, and he'll obey an injunction," Jarrod said.

"'Permanent' is an awful long time, Jarrod," Heath said. "Wally might not go for that."

"And this family's protection is _my_ job!" Nick said into Jarrod's face. "We've had a lot of practice trying things your way, and you don't cut it!"

Now Jarrod flared up. "Don't you say that to me, Nick," he said, controlling his temper hard.

Heath got up between them fast. "Don't make this personal," he said. "This ain't about who does a better job of protecting the family."

Nick and Jarrod still stared each other down. Nick said, "Isn't it? How many times has the law let us down, and even when it works, it works too damned slow. Audra is hurt and maybe hurt bad and we don't have the luxury of waiting for the law. This is _my_ job, Jarrod, and I'm taking it over."

Jarrod stayed planted in Nick's face. "I made a promise to the judge – "

"I didn't!" Nick blurted back at him.

But Jarrod wouldn't budge. "I made a promise to the judge that I'd be back with a request for a permanent injunction if things didn't cool off, and right now we don't even know if Wally was behind this. Protecting this family is not _your_ job, it's_ \- _."

"Audra is hurt! We don't have time to wait for you to go clean the beer off your breath – "

Jarrod was sorely tempted to slug Nick, but seeing it coming, Heath grabbed his arm, and when Nick made the move to hit first, Heath let go of Jarrod and grabbed Nick. "Cut it out! This isn't getting anybody anywhere! Just back off and cool off!"

Neither one of them backed off, but they did relax some. Heath stayed with them as they continued to glare at each other.

Then suddenly Victoria was coming downstairs, looking tired and drawn but saying, "We can hear you all the way up in Audra's room and you're upsetting her. Stop the yelling, right now."

"How is she?" Nick asked quickly.

Victoria sighed. "She has broken ribs but no lung punctures. She hurts a lot, but the doctor thinks she'll be all right."

"What happened?" Jarrod asked.

"She was heading into town and ran into Wally Miles on the road – and it's not exactly like you think it is, Nick."

"How is it?" Heath asked.

"Audra said Wally didn't do anything threatening," Victoria said. "He just appeared suddenly and it spooked Audra's horse and she was thrown."

"Did Wally stop to help her?"

Victoria sighed. "No. She got back up herself and got mounted again. Wally didn't help but he didn't leave either. He stayed until she headed back here. He didn't say a word or do a thing."

Nick flared up again. "She was hurt and he didn't help her."

"No, but there's nothing illegal in that," Jarrod said.

"Don't give me that!" Nick blurted.

"Stop it!" Victoria intervened. "Keep your voice down. Hearing you argue is just upsetting Audra. Jarrod's right. Wally may have done something improper of a gentleman, but he did nothing illegal."

"Then somebody needs to teach him some proper," Nick said.

"Not you," Heath said.

"I'll get the sheriff to talk to him again," Jarrod said. "I won't ask for an injunction yet – the judge wouldn't give it to me. But if Fred had a word with Wally, it might wake him up."

"No," Heath said, "let me try to talk to him first."

"Heath, you had a bad run in with Evan," Jarrod said. "Wally doesn't like you any better than he likes the rest of us."

"But Heath is right," Victoria said. "This has to be more personal. If we're ever going to get Wally to settle down, we have to try to revive the friendship we once had. Nick, you're too angry to do it. Jarrod, you're too much of the law and he's still very, very angry for what you dug up on Evan."

"You killed Evan," Jarrod said calmly. "Mother, I'm not sure we can revive the old friendship at all."

"Maybe not," Victoria said, "but I have to try, and I want Heath to go with me. You two are just too volatile right now, and Heath, we have to go now."

"I'll get a rig ready," Heath said and headed out the door before either Nick or Jarrod could keep him from it.

"Heath can protect me," Victoria said, calmly. "And I can talk to Wally better than either of you can."

Neither Jarrod nor Nick looked happy about this.

Victoria said, "I have to try. None of you can understand how close your father and I were to Wally and Jenny before any of you were born, and you can't understand the depth of the intimacy we shared the night you were born, Jarrod. My first baby, and a tough delivery, but they got us through, Jarrod. Both of us. I have to try to repair this relationship. It means too much to me."

Jarrod understood and relaxed even more. When he did, Nick noticed, and he began to understand, too. He sighed and nodded. "All right, Mother. But if things get tight, you do what Heath says to do. You let him protect you if need be."

Jarrod nodded agreement.

Victoria smiled, a tired and sad smile, but a smile. "I will."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

After Heath and Victoria left, Nick started pacing the foyer again. Jarrod stood at the foot of the stairs looking up. They were both waiting for the doctor to come down and let them go up to see Audra, but he wasn't coming quickly. Nick finally stopped and eyed the refreshment table in the living room. He wanted a drink, but the beer on Jarrod's breath told him Jarrod shouldn't have one. He knew Jarrod had been trying to cut back. He knew it wasn't working.

Jarrod saw him looking. "Have a drink if you want it, Nick," he said calmly. "I don't want one."

Nick looked up at him, but Jarrod looked away. Knowing that Audra was going to be all right had calmed them both down a lot. They weren't angry with each other at all anymore. They were just worried about Audra, and their mother, and Nick was worried about Jarrod. "You were cutting back pretty good," Nick said.

"But I slipped," Jarrod quickly admitted. "You're right. I had a beer today."

"You've been drinking at night again, too. I've noticed. Maybe more important, Mother's noticed."

"And Audra and Heath, I know," Jarrod said. "I'm still walking into walls when I get up in the morning. I know I have to get back on track, and I will. I won't drink before dinner. I'll take more time and eliminate one drink at a time more slowly. That oughtta do a better job of getting me there."

"I'd ask how you got to this point, but I already know."

Jarrod hesitated, but said, "The main problem is when I try to sleep at night. I can't sleep. Too many things whirling around in my head if I don't drink them away. Too many memories."

"And you've been drinking too heavily too long," Nick said. "I'm sorry we let it get away from you."

Jarrod slumped a little. "Nick, you don't need to protect the whole family. You especially don't need to protect me from myself. I'm responsible for me. I was then, and I am now. You've got nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you and everybody else."

"How can I help you get back on track?"

Jarrod smiled a little. "A good friend in town has already set me straight. Cut back a little bit and take a lot of time getting to the level that's tolerable. I'm starting right now with nothing before dinner. If I drink during the day, I won't have anything before dinner. If I don't, I'll allow myself a little scotch. Let me get into that habit good and solid, and then I'll cut back elsewhere. It might take me six months, but I'll do it. It'll work. And if I backslide again, I'll start over again."

"It might be a lifelong project, Jarrod."

"I know," Jarrod said. "I've seen plenty of men with addictions in my job, Nick. This is just another one. You never quit coping with it, that's the key. Never quit trying."

Nick gave him a smile. "Well, if anybody can stick to it, you can. And I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shot my mouth off about being the big man protector of the family. It's just sometimes, especially when you're away, I feel like I need to be."

"I get it," Jarrod said. "I just wish I'd rub off on you a little and you wouldn't go for the knock-down drag-out before you go for help from the sheriff."

"I'll try to do better."

Jarrod put a hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "Liquor and drugs aren't the only addictions a man can fall into. If anybody can back down from 'fight first, ask for help later,' you can."

Nick snorted. "We'll see which one of us succeeds first."

It was Jarrod's turn to snort.

Nick understood why he did. "Here I go again – making a contest of it with you."

"You always did picture me your rival, though I don't know why you did. We're about alike as Grant and Lee were."

"It's the one who kept beating his head against the wall until it came down who won, remember?"

Now Jarrod laughed. "If you can tame your more difficult instincts, Nick, I'll be glad to have you win."

Nick shook his head. "I'm rooting for you on this one."

Jarrod gave a nod. "Thanks."

XXXXXXXX

Victoria was quiet all the way to the Miles ranch, but as they drew close Heath could feel her pulling more and more inside herself, as if she did not know how she was going to approach this. Heath hadn't said much of anything himself on this trip – nothing at all since they left Barkley land – but now he felt compelled to. "What can I do to help with this?"

Victoria smiled a little. "I honestly don't know. I don't know how we're going to be received – IF we're going to be received."

"Are you angry with Wally?" Heath asked.

"I don't know about that either. I know he didn't cause Audra's fall, not on purpose, but he didn't help her either. I think I want to hear what he says about that."

"What makes you think he'll answer you honestly?"

"I don't know that he will. I just know I have to try to get him to if we're ever to restore the friendship we've lost."

Heath hesitated before his next question. "Are you prepared if he doesn't want to restore it?"

Victoria hesitated, too, before she said, "I think so. I think I have to be. But it hurts, Heath. The whole thing over these past couple years just hurts. These days, whenever I look at Jarrod, I remember the night he was born and I think of Wally and Jenny, and my heart just breaks. Now Jenny's gone and I can never restore my friendship with her."

"Mother, I don't think your friendship with Jenny was ever broken," Heath said. "I know you didn't speak much, but she always seemed to have a smile for you when you crossed paths in town, even if Wally didn't."

"I know, she was following Wally's lead and she had to, but if I could have just spoken to her before she died – " Victoria's voice closed off. She missed Jenny, she regretted Jenny, more than she could ever explain to anyone else.

Heath said, "Mother, I'll do whatever I can to help you with this. Maybe, just maybe, Wally's had time to think about what's happened over the last couple weeks. Maybe Jenny's whispered in his ear."

"I only wish," Victoria said.

It was only a few minutes later that Heath pulled the buggy up in front of the Miles house and hitched it to the rail there. He helped Victoria out of the buggy and they started up the stairs – to find Wally already waiting at the door, standing in it. Blocking the way? He didn't say a word. His face was a wall, no welcome in it.

Victoria and Heath stopped a few feet in front of him. "Wally, I'd really like to talk, honestly and completely. I really don't want this difficulty between us to continue. I really – " Her voice closed again. She fought through it. "Wally, I really want to know how to get our friendship back."

He didn't say anything at first, just stood there. He looked at Heath, who tried to say with his eyes that he wasn't here to beat up on him, but he was here to protect his mother from him if he needed to. Finally, Wally stepped aside and opened the door to them.

Heath ushered Victoria in ahead of him, and when Wally closed the door behind them, he stayed between the man and his mother, stayed close to Victoria as she stopped in the foyer and turned to face Wally.

Wally motioned toward the parlor. "Please come in," he said, but not warmly. "Sit down." As they moved into the parlor, he asked, "May I get you anything?"

Victoria shook her head and sat down on the sofa, Heath sitting beside her. Wally took a seat in his favorite armchair, across from the sofa. Victoria looked around. Jenny's absence was palpable, like a giant hole had opened in the middle of the room and they all had fallen into it. "Wally," Victoria said, "I want to try to end this bitterness between us. I've always wanted to – but now it seems like if we don't end it now, we never will, and I can't bear that thought without dying inside. This isn't what Jenny wanted between us. I know it's not."

Wally hesitated again before asking, "Why did you let Jarrod get a restraining order against me?"

"He was alarmed when you came to the house and Audra and I were there alone with you," Victoria said. "Nick and Heath were alarmed, too. You were upset because you'd lost Jenny. You were at loose ends, and Jarrod thought we all needed time for you to calm down."

Wally stared at her. Victoria kept hoping he would at least look away for a moment, but he didn't do it. He only said, "It insulted me. When I was hurting the most, Jarrod called the courts and the sheriff on me and insulted me."

"None of us intended an insult, Wally," Victoria said. "We only wanted time for you to start healing."

Heath had taken Victoria's hand when they sat down. Now Victoria squeezed his hand. Heath read it as a request for help. He said, "Wally, none of us wanted trouble. We only wanted things to settle down."

Wally glared at him.

Victoria didn't feel like they were getting anywhere, but she still wanted to. She changed her approach. "Wally, no one is blaming you because Audra was hurt today. She explained you came upon each other unexpectedly and her horse was startled and threw her. We know you didn't cause her accident. But what you didn't do was help her. You sat there and watched her struggle to get back on her horse without lifting a finger to help her, and that alarmed me and broke my heart."

Wally said nothing.

"Why, Wally?" Victoria asked.

Wally just said, "Restraining order."

"It's not in effect anymore," Victoria said.

Wally said nothing.

Victoria said, "Wally, this is our last chance to save a friendship that I treasured from the moment we all met. Tom and Jenny are gone, but I know they would both be devastated if they knew we could not salvage something we all treasured. Please, Wally. Talk to us. Help us try to get back what we had."

Wally stared and said nothing.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

When Wally refused to answer her anymore, Victoria gave a sigh and stood up. Heath stood up with her, and Wally followed in another moment. Victoria's heartbreak was written all over her. Heath put an arm around her, both to help her and to show Wally that he was there to help her. But Wally remained as much a wall as he had been through the whole conversation.

Victoria was nearly in tears. "Wally, I wish I could get through to you and save this friendship we used to have, but if you're not going to talk with me, I know we can't do it. When Heath and I go out that door, I'll never be coming back. I won't try to talk to you anymore, anywhere, and if you continue to do anything to bother me or my family, I will have Jarrod get a permanent injunction to keep you away from us. This is not what I want, Wally, but it seems to be what you want. Am I wrong?"

Wally said nothing, and that said volumes.

Victoria silently headed for the front door, Heath behind her. Wally stayed where he was and said nothing as they left.

Outside, Heath took his mother by the arm and helped her to the buggy. After she climbed in, she let the tears have her. Heath got in beside her and took her hand. "Mother, you did your best. He just wasn't gonna hear you."

"I know," Victoria said. "But to close up such a friendship in a way like this – oh, Heath. Does it mean Wally never valued it as much as I thought he did?"

"No," Heath said. "It means that the years turned him bitter and he won't let anyone lead him out of it. That's all it means. And I'm sorry, Mother. I'm sorry it turned out this way."

"Let's go home and see to Audra," Victoria said with a sigh, and she never looked at the Miles house again as they rode away.

XXXXXXX

The doctor left, telling Jarrod and Nick that Audra would be fine with some rest and letting them go up to see her. She had refused any laudanum, saying the pain wasn't that bad, but he left some just in case. When Victoria and Heath arrived back at the ranch, Nick and Jarrod were with Audra. Victoria and Heath joined them.

"Did you have any luck with Wally?" Audra asked first thing.

Victoria shook her head. She was more settled now. Reality had sunk in on the way home. "He's still too bitter even to talk to us," Victoria said.

Audra looked stricken. This whole thing had started at her birthday party, when she had overestimated herself and to her mind even led Evan Miles on a bit. Disaster struck – Heath slugged Evan. Later, Evan shot Heath, and later still Evan tried to kill her and Victoria killed Evan. And Jarrod uncovered all the darkness in that boy's past, and Wally went just about out of his mind. And now, this latest flare up was because Audra had fallen from her horse when Wally startled it. Audra saw this as all her fault.

And it was obvious. Jarrod took her hand. "Audra, what's happening is not your fault. It's Wally's choice now."

Audra said, "If I hadn't led Evan on – "

"Now, you stop that," Victoria said right away. "You were a girl at your birthday party, feeling your oats."

"And if Evan had been a normal boy and not the dangerous one Jarrod found out about, he never would have reacted the way he did to you," Heath quickly said.

"Heath is right," Jarrod said. "Honey, that night Evan died, I didn't tell everything I knew about him. There was more. I didn't want to overwhelm Wally and Jenny, and I didn't want to overwhelm you either. But what happened before was Evan's fault, not yours. What's happening now is Wally's decision. It has nothing at all to do with you."

Unexpectedly, Nick said, "Are we gonna need Jarrod to get an injunction?"

Everyone was surprised it was Nick who brought that up. Everyone except Jarrod, who was pleased his conversation with his younger brother earlier was sticking with him. "No, I don't think so, not yet," Victoria said. "I think Wally is going to leave us alone. I just wish – I just wish it didn't have to be this way."

Nick gave his mother a squeeze and kiss on the cheek. "Let's forget about Wally for now and concentrate on getting our little sister back on her feet."

"Amen to that," Jarrod said.

"I'll bring dinner up to you," Heath said. "You just rest for now."

"You're all so wonderful," Audra said.

Victoria leaned over and kissed her. "We're all so lucky to have each other." And she thought about Wally again, and how he had no one now, and how it was what he was choosing.

Jarrod could see the wheels turning in his mother's head. He put an arm around her and kissed her cheek.

XXXXXXX

Jarrod kept to his promise to himself. He spent the next week eliminating that mid-day beer but otherwise drinking as he had been, and happily, by the end of the week, he didn't even miss the beer. He thought about what to eliminate next and found himself overanalyzing the situation. If he eliminated the scotch before dinner, would it mean he'd only want more later? Ditto the after-dinner brandy. And if he eliminated wine with dinner, would he feel too conspicuous at the table? And if he eliminated even one of the two scotches at bedtime, would he toss and turn all night again?

He compromised. Instead of eliminating any one habitual drink, he reduced the size of the glass of scotch before dinner by about one half, and one of the glasses before bed by the same amount. He still had some before dinner and some at bed, but the reduction had cut his daily dose by a full glass.

Everyone noticed the lesser glass he had before dinner, and everyone was pleased. Two weeks after Audra's injury, she was feeling better and joined everyone in feeling better about Jarrod's drinking. Victoria wondered if Jarrod was making up for that reduced pre-dinner drink with his bedtime drinks, but she didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Jarrod could see doubt in her eyes.

When she stepped out on the verandah, just after he finished his brandy, Jarrod joined her. He put his arm around her. "Audra's doing better and better," he opened with, though he knew she wanted to talk about him, not Audra.

Victoria nodded. "She'll be fine and back on that horse in another week or so."

Jarrod gave her a kiss on the side of her head. "And I know you're still fretting privately about me, but you don't need to worry. I am not sneaking more scotch in before I go to bed. In fact, I've cut back there, too. I have a plan to cut back even more, and I'm following it."

That made Victoria smile. "Whoever it was who set you on the right path, I owe her my thanks."

Jarrod flinched a little.

Victoria said, "Nick told me a friend of yours in town helped you figure this plan out."

"You just assumed it was a female friend?" Jarrod asked.

"Wasn't it?"

Jarrod shrugged and nodded.

"What's her name?"

Jarrod didn't know where to go with this now. He didn't want anyone to know about his relationship with Olivia. He didn't want anyone to know they were intimate. He didn't want anyone to know he kept a secret apartment he shared with her. He said, "She's friend I can talk to, but I promised I'd keep her advice confidential."

"Is she a client?"

"She was once, but not now. Just a friend," Jarrod said. "She's just a very good friend."

Victoria let it go then. "As long as you're on the right path, she'll have my thanks, whoever she is."

"And what about you?" Jarrod asked.

"Me?" Victoria asked.

Jarrod said, "You've been feeling pretty unhappy about the rift with Wally. It doesn't look like it's going to heal. Are you settling down with that, or are you still upset?"

"I'm still upset," Victoria admitted, "though not as much. If we've lost Wally forever, that's his decision and I'll learn to accept it. I'll never feel good about it, but I'll accept it."

"At least there hasn't been any more trouble with him."

"Yes, and I hope there never will be. But I'm not entirely confident our paths won't collide again."

"If they do, we'll handle it," Jarrod assured her. "Even Nick seems to have gotten on board with the injunction idea."

Victoria smiled, remembering how Nick had brought up the injunction idea on his own a while back. "I'm amazed you were able to talk him into that."

"Well, it might not stick. With Nick, you never know. But I'm hopeful."

Victoria nodded. "And I'm hopeful we'll never need that injunction."

XXXXXXXX

Jarrod hadn't seen Olivia for a while, but they met again the very next day. They lay together for a long time, not talking much, just enjoying each other, enjoying the lack of a need to talk at first, but ultimately, Jarrod said, "It's working."

"What's working?" Olivia asked.

"Backing off the liquor the way you suggested," Jarrod said. "I've eliminated my mid-day beer and half of my scotch in the evening and at night, and you were right. I've hardly noticed it at all."

Olivia smiled and kissed him. "I have," she said with a twinkle in her eye.

Jarrod laughed and kissed her back.

Then she grew a little sad, though. "I'm afraid I got some bad news from Lodi."

Olivia was originally from Lodi and had family there. "Oh?" Jarrod asked.

"My mother is ill," Olivia said. "I'm going up there tomorrow to see what's happening, but – " She hesitated. She touched his chest. "Jarrod, I don't know when I'll be back."

Jarrod felt cold. They had never pledged anything permanent to each other. On the contrary, they had always reaffirmed that either one of them was free to move on anytime they wanted. But now, on top of worrying about Olivia's mother and how her illness must be fretting Olivia, he worried about himself. He worried that this might be the last time they'd be together. "Olivia, I'm so sorry your mother is sick," he ended up saying. "Is there anything I can do?"

Olivia drew closer to him. "Remember me," she said, and it caught in her throat.

Jarrod pulled her even closer. "How can I ever forget you? What we've had – I've treasured so much. I know it probably hasn't been enough for you – "

"No, that's not it, it has," Olivia said. "You and I have had the most honest, the closest relationship I've ever had with a man, and I don't regret any of it one bit. I just know it has to end now."

"Maybe only for a time," Jarrod said.

"Maybe," Olivia said. "Maybe only this part of it has to end and only for a time. But Jarrod, I will miss you so much."

"I'll miss you," Jarrod said. "You've helped me through the most horrible time of my life, and you haven't asked for a thing in return."

She smiled. "But I've gotten a lot."

Jarrod ran his hand through her long hair and kissed her again. If it had to be over, then it had to be over, but he was not about to regret it had ever happened, and he was not about to waste these last minutes together. "I've gotten more," he whispered in her ear.

(To be continued in Evan's Legacy II – Five Men)


End file.
